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The Whoriest Whore in all of Whoredom

Яegisteяed: 01-2007
Location: shutup
Screeches: 30144
Kaяma: 63 (+122/-59)
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Re: Jeni's Creativeness...ness


My mum & I wrote this one together when I was a sophomore.


The Girl and the Wolf

Once upon a time, there was a girl in the woods. She ain't know where tha hell she was, but she just didn't give a !@#$ cause she was high on birchbark. She rain into a wolf in human clothing, and decided he was a dog. She had no idea why she thought he was a dog, but it could've had a little to do with the birchbark she had smoked earlier. The wolf said, "Sup?!?!" and she said, "yo, wut up DAWG?!?!" He said, "What is a girl like you doing in a woods like this?" She said, "I came here for the birchbark." He said, "oOoOhhhh, the birchbark! Thas some good !@#$! Especially after i raise my leg to it!: She said, "I Can't believe I smoked piss-bark!!!" He said, "You never know what you're gonna find in tha woods. Hee hee hee!!!" The girl and the wolf walked along together, and they found a cottage. The wolf said, "I wonder if there's any cheese inside. I like cottage cheese. I could go for some cottage cheese right aboot......................................................................................now!!!" So they ran inside and looked for some cottage cheese. After aboot 3 & a half hours, they finally realized there was no cheese. The wolf shouted, "WHERE'S THA CHEESE?!?!?!?" The girl said, "I don't know, maybe it's in the wine cellar." So they went downstairs into the cellar and started poppin corks. They decided to forget the cheese and get drunk. After a while, they realized there wasn't any wine left. They looked around in drunken disbelief because the cellar had been totally packed with wine bottles when they got there and they had drank it all!! So they stumbled outside and looked for a goat. They found one surprisingly easily. It was on the front porch. It was lying lazily in the hammock sipping on what looked like a martini. The goat said, "MAN!!! I'm an olive short of a martini! This is sooooooo not working for me!!!" So the girl grabbed one of the wolf'sw olives and dropped it in the goat's drink. The wolf howled (needless to say), and said, "Why didn't you give him a cherry instead?!?!" She said, "Well, if I had thought of that, I would've given him mine!" They both looked at her cherry and decided neither of them really wanted it. So they all linked arms and skipped through the woods singing, " 'We're off to see the wizard!' He's bound to have a party goin on!" (Keep in mind, they drank an entire cellar full of wine!) On the way to see the wixard (oops, drunk!), they invited all the munchkins to a munchout at emerald city. Everyone decided to cum. After that, the girl wasn't a cherry anymore. Then they all passed out. When the girl awoke, she realized that the only one around was the wolf with a smile on his hung-over face. The goat and the munchkins weren't real. She had been so drunk she had imagined them. So the orgy really only consisted of her and the wolf. When she realized this, she screamed until she couldn't scream anymore.


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3/9/2007, 3:18 pm Link to this post Use Moonfoot's Litterbox
 
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The Whoriest Whore in all of Whoredom

Яegisteяed: 01-2007
Location: shutup
Screeches: 30144
Kaяma: 63 (+122/-59)
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Re: Jeni's Creativeness...ness


Yes, I was incredibly depressed when I wrote this. I was...16, I think.


Really Haunted House

It all happened last Halloween. I had finally saved enough money to buy Thornton Mansion on Oak Street. It was built in 1839, but no one hadh lived in it since 31 October, 1900. Old Man Thornton mysteriously disappeared that day. The stories say that his ghost still haunts the place. Most people believe that every year on Halloween night, his ghost comes out of hiding to see if anyone has moved into his beloved house, and if anyone was ever there, they would die as horrible a death as he did 100 years ago. No one has been brave enough to set foot insice the place since then, much less move in there. Until I did. Then I found out what would really happen to whomever moved into the mansion.

I went to the real estate agency that was trying to sell the house and told them I was interested in buying it. "If the place doesn't sell in the next ten days, they're going to tear it down," said Bob, the real estate agent. I gave him the money right then. "I'll move in tomorrow," I said. He started to warn me of th edanger of living there, but I was alreaDragon out the door, so I didn't hear him. Now, I wish I had listened.

When I first opened the door of my new home the next day, I was greeted by a huge mess. The place apparently hadn't been cleaned since that Halloween day 100 years ago. I spent most of the day cleaning, and part of the day actually moving in. It was two days before Halloween, two days before the anniversary of the death of Old Man Thornton. Needless to say, I was scared because of all the rumours that have been spread aboot the "haunted mansion," but I knew it was just a bunch of lies. At least, I thought I knew.

When I woke up the next day, I went to the store to buy canDragon and decorations for all the trick-or-treaters that were sure to come the next day. It's the scariest house in town. If people see that someone is living here now, they'll come. I'll leave the porch light on for them.

Once I got home, I immedeiately started unpacking some more of my stuff. I wanted to be all settled in the next day so I could return to work the day after that. It took me a while, but I finally finished unpacking. Half an hour later, I started decorating for Halloween. I wanted my house to look even scarier than it alraeDragon did. I didn't finish until after ten o'clock. I had been decorating for over 4 hours. I guess I lost track of time. I went to my room and picked up a book and read for a while. I guess I fell asleep sometime, because the next thing I knew, the sun was shining in my eyes. It was morning. Halloween morning. My lightbulb was burned out from being left on all night. I would have to replace it sometime. I never got around to replacing it.

As the day dragged on and it started getting dark, I started getting scared. I knew it was because of all the rumours I had heard aboot what supposedly happens here every Halloween night. I turned on the porch light so people would come for canDragon. No one came. I was aboot to get upset aboot that, but then I felt a strange presence in the room. I had always been able to tell if something bad was going to happen. I would get a strange feeling, kind of a tingling on the back of my neck. Right then, I had that feeling stronger than I had ever felt. I shivered a little, but chose to ignore it. Later that night, I realized I should've listened to that voice inside my head that told me to get out of the house, but I didn't. When I turned around, I got an even weirder feeling, one I had never had before. I got really weak all of a sudden and I thought I would surely fall, but some invisible force held me up. I had no idea what it could be, but that same force is what made me walk up to the third floor of my hosue and pick up the rusty knife in the corner of the room that I hadn't noticed when I cleaned before. Whatever force itw as also made me put the knife up to my throat. I knew what was coming, and I tried to fight it, but it was no use. I then realized that the stories were true. The force I felt was the spirit of Old Man Thornton, and there was nothing I could do to stop him. I had taken over his beautiful house, so he was going to take my life for his revenge. The knife pressed against my throat and slid across. I felt the thick warm blood drain down my chest. I suddently got back control of my boDragon. I crumbled to the floor. I was too weak to move. I knew I would die. The agonizing pain in my throat was so great that I almost couldn't wait for that moment to come. I was too weak to even reach for the knife to put the misery to a quicker stop, so I just lay there until I finally died.

And that is my story. The story that followed me to my grave. I'm sure they found my boDragon. Or maybe they didn't. Maybe I disappeared just as mysteriously as Old Man Thoronton did. Maybe I am destined to spend all of eternity haunting Thornton Mansion with a man who has been dead for over 100 years. I have been dead for almost one year now. It is a week before Halloween. A family of four just bought the mansion. Will Old Man Thornton kill them? Probably. Will I help? I guess we'll just have to wait a find out...

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3/9/2007, 3:42 pm Link to this post Use Moonfoot's Litterbox
 
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The Whoriest Whore in all of Whoredom

Яegisteяed: 01-2007
Location: shutup
Screeches: 30144
Kaяma: 63 (+122/-59)
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Re: Jeni's Creativeness...ness


My goofy-idiot ghost story I just made up when I was acting all stupid emoticon



Once upon a time, there were 3 people and they went into a house to look for something. Also, the house was abandoned & creepy. So the 3 people were walking through the house and a ghost came and went ‘BOO!’ Then, the 3 people started to run. Also, the house was under construction, so there were giant holes in the floor. Anyways, so the 3 people were running, and they fell into a hole down to the basement, which, as we all know, is a natural gathering place for ghosts. Then, all the ghosts attacked them & they went unconscious! When they woke up 3 & a half years later, they were all chained to the wall, and they were all dead. The end.

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5/6/2007, 5:17 pm Link to this post Use Moonfoot's Litterbox
 
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The Whoriest Whore in all of Whoredom

Яegisteяed: 01-2007
Location: shutup
Screeches: 30144
Kaяma: 63 (+122/-59)
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Re: Jeni's Creativeness...ness


Just for Spoony, here's a page of incredibly random doodling that I did last summer. It's really crappy cause I'm not artistic at all, and I was apparently writing the alphabet really giant across the page while I was doodling, so some of the pictures have letters on them...

Trust me when I say it's super bad!!

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7/6/2007, 12:04 am Link to this post Use Moonfoot's Litterbox
 
Plahara60 Profile
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Яegisteяed: 06-2007
Location: Poking your bum with a stick.
Screeches: 8367
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Re: Jeni's Creativeness...ness


Chicken! Egg!

You have no idea how hard that made me laugh! BOFFLES! emoticon

Btw, totally random, but you have nice handwriting. *notices stuff like that*

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7/6/2007, 12:07 am Link to this post Use Plahara60's Litterbox
 
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The Whoriest Whore in all of Whoredom

Яegisteяed: 01-2007
Location: shutup
Screeches: 30144
Kaяma: 63 (+122/-59)
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Re: Jeni's Creativeness...ness


LOL glad I could amuse you!!

BTW, thanks! I emoticon my handwriting, so that makes me feel good LOL

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7/6/2007, 12:15 am Link to this post Use Moonfoot's Litterbox
 
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Яegisteяed: 06-2007
Location: Poking your bum with a stick.
Screeches: 8367
Kaяma: 5 (+62/-57)
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Re: Jeni's Creativeness...ness


 emoticon

And the doodles aren't bad. They're... doodles. They aren't meant to be perfect! I've seen crappier, trust me. emoticon

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7/6/2007, 12:17 am Link to this post Use Plahara60's Litterbox
 
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The Whoriest Whore in all of Whoredom

Яegisteяed: 01-2007
Location: shutup
Screeches: 30144
Kaяma: 63 (+122/-59)
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Re: Jeni's Creativeness...ness


LOL thanks. That's the only page that's even remotely worth sharing, IMO...I was kinda proud of the dancing guy and the lighthouse...that's aboot it emoticon

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7/6/2007, 12:18 am Link to this post Use Moonfoot's Litterbox
 
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Яegisteяed: 06-2007
Location: Poking your bum with a stick.
Screeches: 8367
Kaяma: 5 (+62/-57)
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Re: Jeni's Creativeness...ness


It's okay! emoticon

*loves doodles*

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7/6/2007, 12:21 am Link to this post Use Plahara60's Litterbox
 
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The Whoriest Whore in all of Whoredom

Яegisteяed: 01-2007
Location: shutup
Screeches: 30144
Kaяma: 63 (+122/-59)
Argue | Plagiarize
Re: Jeni's Creativeness...ness


emoticon

*agrees*

OMB I just read the last post I made before the one with the link to the doodle page, and I am laughing at myself soooo hard right now! That's the dumbest tiny-story I've ever heard!!! And I made it up!!!!!!!! *dies* emoticon

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7/6/2007, 12:24 am Link to this post Use Moonfoot's Litterbox
 


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